bones sinking like stones.

I don’t understand why people hardly answer direct questions with proper answers. Answers that takes less effort to say rather than to present answers which are “half truths”. Like if during a phone call,

Someone: hey, where are you?

Me: uhmmm. Aehhhh, outside?

. I find that really irritating. When I can simply say im at school or at work. Surely that takes lesser effort to say than to think of what to say to the person and give a very indirect answer.

Anyways, today’s write will be on how to get a seat on the train, FOR SURE.

Items needed:

1. umbrella or something of equivalent length
2. Desire for orange, blue or green seats.
3. A very desperate look.

This can only be performed if there are little people waiting at the platform. If you come up to the platform level and find that you’d be the 2^nd person in queue for the train, wait for the next train to arrive. Step inside the yellow line where you are SUPPOSED to let people alight from the train.

Make sure you dominate the area. Look around and if you see a very fast paced nyonya/makcik/thambi, pace around the area and make sure no one stands near you. This is where the umbrella comes into place. Open the bloody umbrella and “check” for faults.

When the screen timer reaches 1 minute, perform some stretching, it will help to muscle your way in through the alighting crowd. So the door is about to open and you notice the bespectacled guy is suspiciously eyeing the corner between the door edge and your heavily guarded territory. Cover the angle by standing sideways and open up your chest.

The door opens, what do you do? Rush? No... You wait till only the last 7 people in the train to alight, and then run in! Look for an empty seat, preferably ones that are empty in 2s and 3s. Then from the other door of the cabin, 2 twinkled feet primary school students make a dash for the same 2 seats. Think, think quick. If you are quick enough, you’d make use of the umbrella again.

Simply throw the umbrella or pogo stick right in front of the seats and make it look like somebody very very impatient and most possibly the ugliest Singaporean alive just pushed you. But you pay more attention to the umbrella rather than your imaginary pusher. As you make a big fuss over your “push”, make a sudden but subtle dash/fall for the seats.

As you place your butt on the seat, stretch your leg like its bapak-kau-punye-train.(your father’s train) and give the new seat-er beside you very little space to seat. That’ll prove your dominance in the train seat race.

If all fails, get out of the train and try again for the next train. It’ll take less than 8mins for the next train to arrive, so you can spend 2 hours honing the skill.

Remember; wait for there to be 7 people left to exit the train cabin.

Ways to keep your seat and not feel guilty for not giving up your seat to some lady who would probably do the same as you would to get a seat will be up soon.

Difficuty level: Depending on skill and experience.

It’s been very long since I met makcik@thegym, I’ve not kept my promise of keeping fit. Nyeahaha.

This entry was posted on Thursday, June 02, 2005 at 8:42 pm. You can skip to the end and leave a response.